Dream
by AmongstAFrozenForest
Summary: What if someone you lost came back to you?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler.

Also This story came from a rather odd dream I had awhile ago….soooo…

** Sebastian sighed watching as cars drove by as he walked down the streets of London, a lot of things had changed over the years. The cars were different, the buildings, the humans. It was the year 2014 and he was bored. Having just finished a long contract with a young girl, he had free time. The streets were crowded with people, it was rush hour which meant the streets would be busy. **

** Having been lost in thought he didn't notice the girl running through the crowd, who ran smack into him. She looked up and he couldn't believe his eyes**

** "I'm sorry" she whispered running off. Sebastian stood there a moment, puzzled it seemed, that woman couldn't be her. Rachel was dead and had been for a very long time. Remembering her made him smile. Rachel was the daughter of his master, Ciel Phantomhive and his Lady Elizabeth Midford. She was born April 14th 1896 was their only child. She wasn't like other girls, so obsessed with how she looked and being courted, Rachel cared very little about those things. She didn't enjoy light colors, hated her hair up and spent most of time in the garden.**

** She was also one of the most beautiful girls he'd ever seen and had realized he loved her more than he should've. She had no idea he was a demon and after he took her father's soul, and her mother killed herself he came back. By that time she knew what he did. She was only sixteen then and had loved him from a young age, though she didn't admit it right away. They were in love with each other and then she died. Because she was beautiful people desired her, she was raped twice by two separate men and people she had meetings with hurt her as well.**

** Sebastian followed her, from an appropriate distance of course. He followed her into an apartment building where took the stairs, having lost all patience with the elevator. She looked as though she was in a hurry for something, she didn't notice him behind her until she reached the third floor. She let out a yelp.**

** "I'm sorry, you scared me" She said breathless.**

** "I'm sorry...May I your name?" He asked. She smiled**

** "It's Rachel, yours?"**

** "Sebastian" he answered, puzzled. She smiled and then tilted her head to the side**

** "Have we met before?" She asked, "You look familiar"**

** "We might have. Rachel, what's your last name?"**

** "Before after I got married?" She asked ting her key in the lock**

** "Before"**

** "Phantomhive" She said softly the door opened and a man stood in the doorway**

** "Where have you been? And who is this?" He asked folding his arms over his chest. He was italian, he accent was thick.**

** "This is Sebastian...and I was at a funeral, know that" she said softly**

** "Hm, Get in the house" he snapped, "Now" her shoulders slumped a little.**

** "Nice meeting you, Sebastian" She said softly, she didn't look at him as she went inside.**

** "Bye now" her husband said slamming the door.**

** "Rachel, know better than to leave without telling me where you're going" Azzurro said folding his arms over his chest.**

** "I'm sorry, you weren't here when I had to l-"**

** "You could've called me, should've called me" Rachel went in the kitchen**

** "You're my husband not my father" she snapped he walked over to her and slapped her across the face.**

** "You're my wife, which makes you my property. Now, cook. I'm starving and then when we're done eating come to the bedroom, you look so hot in that dress."**

** "Yes...darling"**

**A/N: Okay so this is a little weird….um...her husband is actually Azzurro Vanel from episode two of season one. This was a dream I had actually twice...and I just felt like making it into a story. Rachel is from a fanfiction I haven't posted online. I've been trying to I just never know how to start it… but it took place in London in 1912 right after Ciel and Lizzy died, Rachel was sixteen. Sebastian me back after a few months and they had a romantic relationship. Soooo….yeah….Reviews please, let me know if I should continue. Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian sighed, sitting at the kitchen table reading something he'd taken from Rachel's bedroom after she died. He told himself he'd never read it, but here he was reading it. Rachel's diary; a small leather book with her thoughts and feelings. Some of it surprised him, some he already knew about her. For instance he had no idea she was so afraid of him even when she had no reason to be. Well, thats not entirely true he did kill her father...Another thing he didn't know, exactly how many miscarriages she had, she always had trouble with pregnancy. She was hurting as well, emotionally, significantly worse than he thought she was. She wrote about wanting to die but not being able to kill herself because Sebastian was always there to stop her.

Sebastian sighed and put the diary back on the bookshelf. If only she'd just told him how she was feeling he could've helped someway.

Rachel wasn't hungry right now she sat at the table pushing her food around on her plate. She didn't want to just throw it away, that would be wasteful and god forbid she waste any food.

"Is something wrong?" Azzurro asked watching her

"Oh nothing. Just thinking…" she said

"About?"

"Nothing" She answered quickly. She was thinking about Sebastian...she couldn't help but wonder she's met him before. He seemed so familiar, picturing him in her head made her heart race.

"I know what you're thinking about" Azzurro said he walked over her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You're thinking about all the stuff I'm going to do to you after you're done eating"

Midnight she woke up, her head hurt and her thighs had new dark bruises on the inside, from where he held her legs open with his knees. She told him she didn't want to "Make love" because she was tired. He just laughed and forced her. Rachel got up and pulled on the first thing she could find, her black nightgown. It was fairly short, not even fingertip length. Of course it wouldn't be, her stupid husband bought it for her.

She didn't put on her shoes because she didn't want to make any noise as she walked through the apartment towards the door. She was about to grab her coat from the rack when someone grabbed her hair and pulled her back.

"Where do you think you're going darling?" Azzurro shoved her down, "Don't you dare lie to me"

"I was just...uh" leaving you she thought in her head. He kicked her, several times.

The place was a wreck...glass was shattered and the coffee table was smashed, Rachel was covered in blood and cuts.

"I don't need a doctor…" Rachel said softly to the police officer, who looked unconvinced "And you can't make me get medical attention if I don't want it."

"Alright, is there anyone you can stay with tonight?" Rachel shook her head.

"Just take him to jail, I'm fine by myself" She said the officer handed her a small business card with his number and left. Rachel sighed and got up, she didn't have anywhere to go and didn't want to stay here. She'll find somewhere to stay. Rachel grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

A/N: If you're confused, he beat the crap out of her, she got away, and called the police. :) Thanks for reading. Please review


	3. Chapter 3

**It was colder than it was earlier, then again it was early Spring and two in the morning. Rachel sighed, she forgot her cell phone, wasn't wearing shoes, only had a nightgown a long blue coat over it. **

"**Excuse me" Someone said behind her, "Are you alright?" Rachel turned around and saw Sebastian. She stepped back, clutching her coat.**

"**You...you're stalking me…" She said, "You're everywhere I go. What do you want?"**

"**Right now, I just want to help you. You must be freezing"**

"**I'm fine, why do you care? You don't even know me" She said softly. He smirked.**

"**Rachel, may I ask what you're doing out at such a late hour, without your shoes should add"**

"**I didn't put them on. And it's none of your business why I'm out, why are you out so late?"**

"**Simple, I don't sleep, your turn." she didn't say anything just rubbed her arms.**

"**You don't have anywhere to go, do you?" He asked suddenly**

"**Not at the moment"**

"**Hm. I know you don't know me very well, but you can come with me if you like. I won't force you too" Rachel thought about it for a moment. Should she go with him? She didn't know him what he just wanted to rape her. No, he would've done it already. She felt like she knew him...maybe he really did want to help her.**

"**Okay...I'll go with you...but please don't hurt me" she said softly. He smiled**

"**I promise, you're safer with me than your husband"**

"**Um...When I was ten my dad taught me how to shoot a gun. I'm actually pretty good at it...I have a pistol at my place" she said sipping the warm tea he gave her.**

"**Thats always nice" Sebastian said. They sat across from each other in the kitchen. Rachel looked around, the appliances looked like they'd never been used before.**

"**Your parents must be proud of you"**

"**Actually...they're dead" Rachel said softly.**

"**Oh, I'm sorry to hear that"**

"**Don't be. They died when I was sixteen. My dad died from unknown causes and a week later my mother killed herself. I found her in the bathtub. She slit her wrists." Thats the same way Lady Elizabeth died...one week after Ciel she killed herself.**

"**You must be tired, Rachel. Come I'll show you to the guest bedroom."**

**The next morning Sebastian left Rachel alone in his apartment to go do something he hadn't done in a long time. Go see his Rachel's grave. She was buried right next to her parents. But when he got to the location of her tombstone he made a shocking discovery. Her grave was gone.**

**A/N: oooh snap. This is where I woke up. Um. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll continue if you want. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Rachel sighed walking around the small two bedroom apartment. She was a complete stranger and he left her alone in his apartment. Where did he even go? It would've been nice if he left a note or something. She walked over to the small bookshelf by the tv, she wasn't a big television fan. Rachel figured she'd read a book or something until he came back.**

**Something caught her eye, a small leather book. She grabbed it, it looked old. She sat at the kitchen table and opened it, it made a cracking sound, the pages were thick yellowish. It was definitely old. She was startled to see pictures fall out of the first page. They had been neatly set in the book.**

**Rachel cursed and picked them up after they had scattered all over the floor. She found one that was rather odd. A picture of her, only it wasn't her. It was a girl who looked like her, exactly like her, standing in front of a ship "Titanic" smiling a beautiful smile. Rachel flipped it over and read the tiny delicate handwriting. "Rachel Angelina Phantomhive age fifteen April 11th 1912" She has the same name as this girl too. She flipped the page, more handwriting, this must be a diary.**

"**April 10, 1912**

**I've been hearing a lot of fuss lately about a grand ship, supposedly it's unsinkable. My friend Abigail is boarding tomorrow, she's getting married. She asked me to see her off, I was invited to the wedding but a wedding doesn't seem right. After mother's suicide and all. I will have to host a party when she returns from her honeymoon."**

**Rachel put the diary down and thought for a moment. She had the same name as this girl, looked just like her, and both of their mother's died of suicide...What the hell? She picked it back up again and read the next entry, April 15th, 1912:**

"**So sorry it's been such a long time since I last wrote in you. It's been a crazy few days. The unsinkable ship carrying my bestfriend sank and no one will tell me if she's alive or dead. Hundreds of people died, tragic, and I still have no idea how my father died." **

**Rachel blinked, her father died of unknown causes too. Okay this was getting too weird to be coincidental. She put the book back on the shelf and walked out of the apartment. **

**She got a lot of dirty looks from people when they saw she wasn't wearing much clothing, some guys didn't mind and she was groped several times. Once inside her apartment she decided to get her laptop and do a little research. She found out Rachel was named after her grandmother, who died along with her husband Vincent Phantomhive in a house fire. That was the only thing she didn't have in common with this woman. Her fathers name was Ciel Phantomhive, that was the same, her mother was Elizabeth Midford, she had an uncle named Edward.**

"**What the hell?" She whispered running a hand through her hair. She decided to take a bath and clear her head. As the water ran she stripped down to nothing and slipped on a silk bathrobe. Suddenly the bathroom door burst open and and she was shoved against the wall.**

"**Hey there sweetie" Azzurro said, "Got out of jail early" Rachel too afraid to say anything.**

"**Have nothing to say? Not even sorry you locked your own husband up?" He didn't give her time to answer, just shoved her down. Rachel hit her head on the tub really hard. Her head was bleeding now, blood dripping down on the floor and her vision was blurred. Azzurro grabbed her forearms and pulled her up.**

"**How dare you humiliate me Rachel. I love you" She spit in his face**

"**This isn't love" She said softly. Oops she really made him mad this time. He shoved her in the tub, wrapped hands around her throat, and held her under the hot water.**

**A/N: Sorry it took a little while to update. And sorry if there are any mistakes like left out words or letters, my keyboard is...not very good. Probably shouldn't have accidently spilled beer on it...review please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**There's a time when you know you're going to die, thoughts form in your head, thoughts about family and friends. How they'll feel when you leave their lives. How they'll miss you, wish you were still here, on earth with them. Rachel wasn't having these thought, she didn't have any family left, everyone was dead. Everyone. So, instead all she felt was a sense of calmness, she had nothing else to live for, she didn't have friends, no one would miss her, no one would even know she was gone. Knowing this, knowing she had no one, becoming content with dying, she fought; fought like hell.**

** He wasn't holding her arms, idiot. scratched at his hands, digging her nails deep into his skin. Blood flowed but he didn't let go, so she rose her arms quickly, struggling to get above water where oxygen was, she her thumbs in his eyes, then she used her nails and pressed deep his eyes. Blood smeared on her fingertips he released her finally, screaming in pain. She pulled herself up and gasped for air, coughing up water. She, unsteadily, rose from the tub and grabbed the sink for support. Azzurro saw that she was up and punched her. **

** "You're a bitch" he hissed reaching for her. How can he still see? She ran out of the bathroom, with him following. Rachel ran quickly for the bedroom and closed the door on his arm, he almost got in, but backed off. locked the door and pressed her back to it. Then she ran for the closet and as he slammed his body against the door, she used a chair that was by the dresser to get to the top shelf of her closet. There inside a shoe box was a smaller metal box. She quickly opened it and took out the pistol her father gave her for her tenth birthday. She loaded it and got down. **

** Rachel knew how to shoot a gun, she was damn good at it too NEVER missed her target. Azzurros didn't know that, smart of her not to tell him. Just then the door was she was pushed off it's hinges.**

** "Now, sweetie. We're not playing hide and seek, come here l-" Azzurro noticed the gun and started to laugh, "Rachel, honey, put the toy down" he took a step forward**

** "Do not move" She said, "I'll shoot you"**

** "Doubtful, you don't know how to shoot. Where'd you even get that?"**

** "My dad" Azzurro laughed again and then ran towards her. She shot him right between the eyes. Rachel stared a moment, he didn't go down right away, he had a shocked expression on his face, as blood trickled from the hole in his head. He fell dead on the floor.**

** She didn't know how much time she spent staring at his dead body, she didn't realize how bad her head was bleeding until she suddenly fell into someones arms. Who was it? Her vision was blurred so bad she couldn't see.**

** "Rachel, stay awake" it was Sebastian, he was holding her close, "Stay with me. Keep your eyes open." he said, gently, almost lovingly stroking her hair.**

** "I had...too" she whispered**

** "I know. You're okay, help is on the way" he said, "Just stay awake, stay with me Rachel" **

** "I...read the diary...it was on..on your bookshelf...I don't...I don't understand…"**

** "How far did you get?" he asked**

** "The first two entries…"**

** "So, you still don't remember me?"**

** "No…"**

** "How about this. I'll give you the diary, and you can read it. Once you're finished maybe you'll remember everything" he said softly, "You'll remember me"**

** "Okay...Sebastian?"**

** "Yes?"**

** "I'm so tired"**

** "I know. Stay awake a little longer, won't be much long now." She didn't stay awake, no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't. Sebastian tried to make her stay awake, by talking to her and shaking her a little. At one point she heard him say "I can't lose you again"**

** She woke up later in the hospital, police officers standing at the end of her bed. They handed her a clipboard and paper and an ink pen**

** "Miss, we need you to write down everything that happened." the short one said. He introduced himself as Officer Abberline. Why did she recognize that name. She did as was asked and answered all their questions. They left after taking pictures of her injuries and getting her statement. She wasn't going to be charged since it was obviously self defense.**

** "Hey" Sebastian said walking into her room, "How are you feeling?"**

** "Hi. I feel okay, just a major headache"**

** "As expected"**

** "How did you know to come to my apartment?"**

** "I had a feeling. Nevermind that now" he said walking over, "As promised" he said putting something on the bed. The diary.**

** "Are you sure you want to give this to me?" she asked**

** "It belongs to you"**

** "What?"**

** "You are a Phantomhive, the woman who wrote in it would've been a relative of yours. Therefore it's yours"**

** "Oh, I thought you meant something else." she said softly picking it up. For some reason she felt like it belonged to her. But she wondered why reading this would make her remember him.**

**A/N: Yay he's dead! :) Let me know what you guys think. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sebastian left, something about he had to go home to feed his cat? Didn't know he had a cat but okay. Rachel sighed and read the diary one of the entries peaked her interest.**

** "I suppose I should be more careful walking around London at night. Though I was armed, some freak kidnapped me. He took me to his basement and...burned me. I got away, after successfully shooting him the foot and then blowing his kneecap out. He burned a four leaf clover in my inner left thigh. Paula freaked out of course. I now have to take Finny or Bard with me when I go out."**

** Rachel sighed, she didn't have a burn like that anywhere on her. Out of nowhere she felt a shot of pain on her thigh, it was a hot searing pain like someone was burning her. She shrieked and looked at her inner left thigh. A four leaf clover made it's home in her skin.**

** "Oh my god...What the hell!?" She shrieked, "What the hell!?" after that she didn't read it anymore, but curiosity struck and she ended up picking it up again.**

"**Once again, I said I wouldn't do it, but I can't stop. I carved into my wrist, MeyRin caught me and pulled the piece of glass from my bloody fingertips. Why can't they just leave me alone? The servants they care about me, I don't want them to baby me, to act like I'm self destructive and could jump from a window any minute. I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to care"**

**Rachel threw the diary down and started scream as a searing pain shot into her wrist and three deep cuts appeared, blood flowing out of the opened wounds. Two Nurses and a doctor ran in. **

"**Miss, calm down" They were saying as they held her down.**

"**What's happening!?" she shrieked, "Let me go!"**

"**Madam we're just going to give you a sedative, try to relax" the doctor said, she was a girl, red hair, beautiful and familiar. Her name tag read "Dr. Angelina Durless"**

"**It's alright" she said soothingly, "Tie her arms and bandage her wrist please" she whispered. Rachel felt tired, she soon gave into sleep.**

**Sebastian decided, since she didn't have anywhere else to go and she refused to go home, Rachel would come live with him. She didn't object to the plan, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea, what else would she do though?**

"**Welcome home" he said smiling as he opened the door, "Here's a key"**

"**Thank you…" she said softly taking the key, "Has anyone ever told you you're really tall?"**

"**Yes." he said, "Did you read the diary?"**

"**Not all of it. I don't see how it would help me remember you though"**

"**You didn't read enough"**

"**Oh...okay"**

**That night she read some more, this girls life was interesting as hell and she found she couldn't put the diary down. She got towards the middle and things just got strange. She wrote a lot about how she suspected a demon killed her father due to her mother's journal. The hell? Then she wrote a lot about a certain butler, who disappeared after her father died...just left. She talked about how every time she thought about him her heart raced, about how bad she missed him. The persons name was Sebastian.**

"**Huh?" Rachel said she continued to read.**

"**I've come to realize, after recent events, Sebastian is a demon. He killed my father, he basically caused my mother's suicide. He never aged, he never slept, I've never seen him eat or drink, He was always with my father. Always. My mother went from adoring Sebastian to cursing his name. He disappeared after my fathers death. He ruined my life and, yet, he's all I think about. I love him, I love him when I'm supposed to hate him. I miss him more than I miss my own parents, how horrible is that?"**

**Rachel put the diary away, freaking out. How was she supposed to sleep now? She thought there was something about him. Who was she kidding? Demons aren't real. Rachel fell asleep after a while and the dream she had was weird.**

**Rachel sighed walking out of mansion and into her garden. It's been two months since her parents died and Edward won't stop trying to make her read her mother's will. She had no interest in knowing what her mother left for her. Rachel picked a rose and smelled it. She always loved her garden, Finny does such a great job keeping it full and beautiful.**

"**Flowers are so pretty" She said softly**

"**As are you" Sebastian said. Rachel whirled around, when did he get here? Why was he here?**

"**Wha-What do you want?"**

"**To see you, I've missed you"**

"**Are you here kill me too?" she asked softly, she wasn't going to lie, she wanted him to kill her.**

"**No. You are so beautiful" suddenly he embraced her. She stiffened and pulled away, **

"**Let me go! You killed my father!" she shrieked**

"**We had a deal. It was hardly murder" he said, "We had a contract"**

"**I don't know what that means"**

"**His parents were killed, he summoned me to get revenge on their killers, in exchange he gave me his soul. He knew what he was doing." Rachel didn't say anything for a minute instead she started to cry, she was in love with a demon, who killed her dad for his soul. But he was right it wasn't murder, it was assisted suicide. Sebastian sighed and held her close.**

"**Rachel, I never meant to cause you pain" he tilted her head up and kissed her.**

**Rachel woke up and suddenly everything came back to her, every last detail, she remembered the death of her parents, the crash that killed her and Edward, all the kidnappings, all the times Sebastian saved her life, all the times they kissed, made love, she remembered it all. Rachel shot out of bed and ran for the kitchen. She knew he'd be in there, it was ten thirty, he was cooking breakfast and once he was finished he would wake her up. Just like before, drawing the curtains back, letting the sun in.**

"**Sebastian" Rachel said running over. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He looked a little confused and then she kissed him softly.**

"**Good morning to you too" he said**

"**I remember you. I remember everything"**

**A/N: Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

"**You do?" he questioned she nodded. Sebastian put her down and then pulled her close, she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.**

** "I missed you so much" He said.**

** "I know…**

** "I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you."**

** "It's not your fault, Edward should've been watching the road. I'm okay now, I'm here." Rachel said softly, "Sebastian…"**

** "Yes?"**

** "The bacon is burning"**

** "Let it burn"**

** "So the apartment can burn down? Fix it, I'm not going anywhere" He let her go and turned away. Giving her time to run off. She didn't get very far though, next thing she knew he had her pinned against the wall.**

** "You said you weren't going anywhere" he said smirking**

** "Okay maybe I lied, but you c-" he interrupted her with a kiss and it wasn't a soft kiss either. It was deep. He pulled away **

** "You didn't let me finish…" she said**

** "Sorry, the temptation was too great," He said, "What were you saying?"**

** "Doesn't matter now." smirking, Sebastian let her go to finish cooking and Rachel busied herself with a shower and got dressed in a black T-Shirt and jeans. As she ate she suddenly realized something she hadn't even thought about.**

** "Rachel?" Sebastian questioned, noticing her expression, "What is it?"**

** "The servants, they're all dead aren't they? Finny, Bard, MeyRin, and Paula?"**

** "I'm afraid so…"**

** "Oh…" She said softly and her green eyes filled with tears, "How?"**

** "Bard and Finny died of old age, Paula got in an accident, and I never did find out how MeyRin passed. Though she left the mansion shortly after you died"**

** "Where did she go?"**

** "I'm not sure, I think she went back to where I found her." He said**

** "What happened to my company?"**

** "Well, since you were dead it should've went to one your living relatives but since Edward was the only one left and he was also dead it just...disappeared."**

** "I had cousins"**

** "They were far too young for that"**

** "My Mansion?"**

** "It's still standing and it's being kept in good condition seeing as how it's a historical m-"**

** "IT'S STILL STANDING!" She shrieked jumping up, "Can we go see it?"**

** "Are you willing to pay to get in?"**

** "Why should I? It's my house. Wait why would I have to pay?" She asked**

** "Because people take tours inside of it, Rachel"**

** "DID THEY CHANGE ANYTHING?"**

** "No, the decor is the same as it's always been"**

** "Good…" She said, "Can we go? Please?"**

** "You don't have to ask me permission."**

** "Okay…"**

** "Yes, we can go. But not today"**

** "Why?" she asked, he smirked and walked over to her.**

** "Because I have other things in mind"**

** "Like wh-" he kissed her with a very deep and passionate kiss, "Oooohh...I see" Rachel said softly and kissed him.**

**A/N: Oh my god, sorry I haven't updated in a little while. We had testing at school and other things...so sorry...Hope you liked this chapter :) Thanks for reading**


	8. Chapter 8

** "Rachel, where are you going?" Sebastian asked grabbing her by the waist and turning her around to face him. She yelped**

** "Don't do that"**

** "Where are you going?" he asked again**

** "On a walk...by myself" she answered, "I won't be gone long I promise"**

** "Alright…" She turned around and as she was walking out the door she added something, "And don't follow me!" **

** Rachel sighed as she walked towards the elevator and just as she reached for the button she stopped and turned around.**

** "I thought I told you not to follow me Se-" She stopped talking when she saw it wasn't Sebastian, it was a child. A little girl with brown curls and a little blue dress, she had blood on her.**

** "Hey, are you okay?" Rachel asked softly the little girl didn't answer, she just grabbed her hand and tugged her along. Rachel followed her into an apartment, the door was hanging open.**

** "Help her...please?" The child said softly**

** "Who?" she asked, "What is it?" then she hear it, soft whimpers from bedroom and Rachel ran in to see a woman on the floor, blood covering the inside of her thighs and she was clutching her swollen stomach. "Oh great" Rachel said softly walking over to the dresser where a phone was sitting. She called or an ambulance and then walked over to the woman.**

** "Who are you?" She asked through heavy breathing**

** "My name is Rachel, what's yours?"**

** "Amanda…how did you find me?"**

** "Your daughter brought me here" Rachel said**

** "Claire, she's not my daughter she's my niece. Are you a doctor?"**

** "No, where's your husband?"**

** "He's in Afghanistan…" Amanda said and then she screamed, "Oh my god this hurts...don't ever get pregnant"**

** "How far apart are the contractions?"**

** "Uh...about ten minutes apart…"**

** "Helps on the way." Rachel said, "Is this your first baby?" she nodded**

** "My miracle baby. We spent three years trying to get pregnant, we thought it'd never happen. We went to the doctor and they said my eggs were dried up and I'd never be able to have kids and then right after, I found out I was pregnant."**

** "Well isn't that nice, oh look paramedics…" Rachel said. She watched as they put her on a gurney thing.**

** "Wait! Rachel, come with me"**

** "Uh..I-"**

** "Please, can't do this alone…" Rachel sighed**

** "Okay…"**

** Rachel sighed running a hand through her loose blue-black curls. She was bored. Amanda had to go into emergency surgery to get the baby out. Something happened, Rachel wasn't a doctor so she didn't understand what they were saying when they tried to explain it to her. **

** "Rachel" Claire said softly**

** "Hm?"**

** "Is aunt Manda going to die?"**

** "What? No, of course not. Come here" Rachel said, she curled up on the small couch Rachel was sitting on and put her head in Rachel's lap.**

** "She'll be just fine."**

** "Promise?"**

** "Yes"**

** "Pinky promise?" She asked**

** "Yes" She pinky swore with the little girl and sighed. She should probably call Sebastian...nah, he'll be fine. He'll find her if he feels the need to hunt her down; which he will. Rachel looked down to see Claire was sleeping softly in Rachel's lap. Pretty on Rachel felt tired and ended up dozing off too.**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long DX**

**There you go...**


	9. Chapter 9

** Rachel woke up to see Amanda was sleeping in the hospital bed that had been empty when she fell asleep. Next to the bed was a tiny glass crib thing and inside was a tiny baby wrapped in a white blanket with a little blue hat. Rachel smiled and removed the sleeping child from her lap as she got up.**

** "Hello there little one"She whispered**

** "Don't wake him…" Amanda said softly **

** "He's already awake"**

** "Oh...he's so quiet"**

** "Yeah" Rachel said softly he was a cutie.**

** "Can I hold him?" Amanda asked**

** "Yes, you can" The female doctor said smiling she walked over and picked him up. She gently handed him to Amanda.**

"**Hi baby…" She said softly, "Hello I'm your mommy. You really scared me" She smiled down at her baby.**

"**What are you going to name him?" Rachel asked softly**

"**Hm..he looks like an Ely...my little Ely." She gasped and then gave a happy laughed, "He smiled at me!" Just then someone ran in.**

"**Did I miss it?" A man asked, "Wheres my little nephew"**

"**Rachel this is my brother, Jason…"**

"**Hi" Rachel said it was easy to tell they were siblings, they both had the same blue eyes. **

"**Hello…" he said smiling. Rachel waited a little while and then slipped out of the room unnoticed. She figured she should call and check in so Sebastian wouldn't freak.**

"**I thought you were going on a walk" He said suddenly behind her.**

"**Oh my god!" She yelled, "Don't sneak up on me like that!" **

"**Sorry, what are you doing here?"**

"**What are you doing here?"**

"**Don't answer my questions with another question" Sebastian said, "Answer mine first" Rachel sighed and told him everything that happened.**

"**Hm. Okay, I came here looking for you" he said, "And now that I've found you we can go home"**

"**Not yet. Come see the baby"**

"**No"**

"**Please?"**

"**Not a baby person" he said**

"**Come meet my friends?"**

"**Hmm…"**

"**Please?" he sighed and then nodded**

"**Fine, I'm not touching the infant"**

"**Okay" She smiled and went back into the room with him. After introducing Sebastian to everyone she convinced him to let her stay a little longer, mainly because little Ely was literally the cutest thing she'd ever laid eyes on. Then Amanda started freaking out because he was crying and she couldn't make him stop.**

"**What do I do!?" She asked, "I-I don't know what to do!"**

"**Let me try" Rachel said and Amanda gently handed him over to Rachel and the minute he went in her arms he stopped crying. Amanda's dropped**

"**How...how did you do that?"**

"**I don't know…" Rachel said softly, "Hello little one." she smiled "You are so cute"**

"**I think he likes you"**

"**Amanda." Jason said walking back in, "I got ahold of Chad"**

"**Oh good"**

"**He's happy it's a boy" he said, "He can't wait to meet his son" Rachel looked up from the baby to see Sebastian looking at her with a look on his face that said: "You are not taking it home" she couldn't help but want to. All her babies died, they always died, and she couldn't help but want one. It was stupid maternal girly crap and didn't matter, Sebastian didn't like kids one hundred years ago what would make him like them now? And if she got pregnant he would just make her get rid of it, like he always did. Even though she asked him what would happen if he got her pregnant, he said it wouldn't hurt her or kill her. Rachel sighed and handed Amanda the baby after it had fallen asleep and explained that she had to go home.**

"**Rachel what's wrong?" Sebastian asked as they walked home. He noticed she was being unusually quiet. Rachel shrugged**

"**I'm just tired…" She said softly**

"**Don't lie to me, You and I both know thats not the problem"**

"**I'm tired...thats all." He dropped it for now. A few a minutes passed and it was too quiet so she decided to just say what she was thinking about.**

"**I know you despise children and the very thought of having one makes you sick, but...if-if I get pregnant someday will you do me a favor?"**

"**What?"**

"**Will not rush me off to the nearest Clinic?"**

"**Ra-"**

"**Please...I can't do it again...I won't." she said, "Please...just if it happens will you consider letting me keep it?"**

"**Only if you promise to tell me right after you find out. And if you miscarry it I want to know, don't just keep it from me"**

"**Okay…" she said softly, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all those times before"**

**A/N: Yaaaaayyy! Thanks for reading guys, really hope you liked it :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Rachel woke up early in the morning to the sound of meowing. She opened her eyes to see a tiny black furball curled up next to her.**

** "Where have you been?" She asked, she knew Sebastian had a cat but it had been hiding the past few days. It meowed and licked her hand as she petted him.**

** "I like kitties" she said**

** "It's about time she's come out of hiding" Sebastian said from the doorway**

** "What's her name?"**

** "Doesn't have one"**

** "Aw I shall name you...Voltron the Destroyer"**

** "Thats a bit long" he said**

** "Better than not having a name" she said, "Fine I'll pick something else. Hmmm I'll name you Kitty"**

** "Well isn't that creative"**

** "Shut up" she muttered, "I like it. Do you like it little kitty cat? I think you do" Rachel cooed.**

** "You're weird"**

** "You're mean" She said, "OH MY GOD I FORGOT" Rachel shrieked sitting straight up and scaring the cat, who ran under the bed and Sebastian blinked.**

** "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you" He asked sarcastically.**

** "Funeral"**

** "Whose?"**

** "Azzurros...do you think I should go? I mean I was his wife, but I killed him…" **

** "Do you want to go?" He asked**

** "I don't know!" She said covering her face with her hands and sighing deeply she fell back on the bed, "His family will be there and friends…they'll ask questions and I'll have to answer. Meh, kill me"**

** "No ones dying, especially not you"**

** "Okay. Do you think I should go?"**

** "Not my decision"**

** "You're no help today" She said sitting up, "Okay I'm going"**

** "Alright"**

** "Who am I kidding? I can't go!" She said, "This is hard…help me"**

** "What am I supposed to do?"**

** "Help me decide" he sighed and laid on the bed next to her**

** "Okay. Tell me why you should go"**

** "Hmmm, make sure he's really dead"**

** "You blew his brains out Rachel…"**

** "I know.."**

** "Alright. Tell me why you shouldn't" Sebastian said**

** "It would be awkward...because I killed him…"**

** "Okay...there's your reasons. Now you can make a decision"**

** "Okay." Rachel sighed and thought for a moment, "Nope not going" she said rolling out of bed and laying on the floor.**

** "What are you doing?" Sebastian asked standing over her**

** "Uncovering the secret of the universe…"**

** "Uh-huh, on the floor?"**

** "Yup…" She said, "This carpet is nice…"**

** "Rachel, you are strange"**

** "Is that why you love me?"**

** "No, you're hot" he said smirking, "get off the floor"**

** "No, you don't control me" she said, "Bye Sebastian" she rolled under the bed.**

** "What are you doing?"**

** "Hanging out with the kitty" she said, "Hi Kitty" she said petting her soft black fur. She meowed and curled up next to Rachel.**

** "Get out from under there"**

** "Make me"**

** "You asked for it" he said and then flipped the freaking bed, the cat ran away and Rachel sat up, really surprised he did that.**

** "Aw, now look what you did. You broke it" she said**

** "Oh well"**

** "Meanie, I could've died"**

** "I doubt that" he said helping her up, "Are you hungry?"**

** "Yes"**

** "I'll make you something to eat, in the meantime, clean this up"**

** "Me!? You did it!" She said, "Do I look like a maid?"**

** "You'd make a sexy maid"**

** "Perve. Go cook please"**

** "What do you want?"**

** "Food" she said**

** "What kind of food?"**

** "...The kind that you eat…"**

**A/N: Haha XD Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and reviewing**


	11. Chapter 11

** "Are these people idiots?" Rachel asked, "Like really…"**

** "What are you talking about?"**

** "There's a documentary on about the Phantomhives and these people are talking about me like they knew me and everything they say is wrong." She said, "I don't play the violin are they stupid?"**

** "It's just a show"**

** "A documentary about my life and it's all lies. Look at this guy he just looks like an idiot" Rachel said pointing at the old man on the television screen.**

** "Be quiet for a minute so we can listen to what he's saying" Sebastian said. They watched in silence as they old man began to speak, "I've visited the home of Miss Rachel probably one hundred times and I remember distinctly, one night I spent there as I walked through the hallway, a sweet sound coming from her study. The sound of a violin being played beautifully, the most beautiful melody I'd ever heard and I can't get the sound out of my head." he said Rachel started to laugh.**

** "I played the piano you idiot!" She shouted**

** "Okay maybe you should stop watching before you break the tv" Sebastian said reaching for the remote.**

** "Nope, I'm watching this"**

** "Alright" he said smirking, "I'll be in the kitchen please don't break anything"**

** "Okay" he walked away and she sat on the couch. There was a young woman on, Angela Davis, she was history professor at The Ohio University.**

** "Let's hear what you have to say miss Angela" Rachel said turning up television.**

** "I have done my research on this young woman and from what I've gathered it appears that the reason she never got married, though she was of age, is because she didn't want it to get out that she was having an affair with someone on her staff, someone who worked for her and had been around her; her whole life." Angela said she took a sip of water before continuing, "This person would've been working for her father before her so they would have been exceptionally older than herself...which wasn't uncommon given the time it would've taken place."**

** "Bravo you got something right" Rachel muttered.**

** "Though it wasn't uncommon for older men to be with younger women at this time but it would've been unexceptional given this person worked for her and she wasn't a virgin. She had sex before marriage and back then that wasn't okay. Within my research I stumbled upon an article from the day she died and in it were her last words. "Don't let Baldroy see me like this" Which told us who she was having an affair with" Rachel couldn't help it, she burst into uncontrollable laughter and ended up on the floor clutching her sides.**

** "Oh my god! I can't even...Oh wow...Thats not even close!" She laughed, "They're stupid, oh my god! They should know I died on impact! My last words were to Edward asking why we were going to the cemetery! And then turned to answer and we hit a freaking tree! A tree!"**

** "You're finding this amusing" Sebastian said from the kitchen.**

** "Where'd they get their information from? Wikipedia? Oh my god. I can't...I can't watch more" She turned it off and went in the kitchen still laughing**

** "Hey Sebby" She said**

** "Don't call me that"**

** "Okay. Oh what was it Grell called you all the time? Oh yeah! Bassy"**

** "Rachel I'll hurt you" he said**

** "Bassy!" She said mimicking Grell perfectly. He turned around and sprayed her with water from the sink because he was doing the dishes.**

"**Aw..meanie" She was wearing a white shirt today and now her bra was showing.**

"**Oops. Guess you should never call me that again."**

"**Bassy" he did it again so she just took her shirt off**

"**Now you're just teasing me"**

"**Maybe" she said smiling. He sprayed her again and now her bra was soaked, "Stop it!" She said laughing.**

"**Hm maybe you should take that off too" he said smirking as he wrapped his arm around her waist.**

"**How about you take it off for me"**

"**Now you're really teasing me" he said kissing her deeply as he undid her bra. They were interrupted by a knock on the door.**

"**Aw…" Rachel said redoing her bra, "Go get it" She ran to the bedroom to go change into dry clothes, she threw the wet ones in the hamper and went to see who was here.**

"**Who is it?" She asked as shocked to see Amanda, why was she here? And why was she crying?**

"**Hey…" Rachel said softly walking over to the door.**

"**He's dead...he-he's dead" Amanda sobbed. Rachel looked at Sebastian signaling for to go away for a minute as she guided Amanda towards the couch.**

"**Okay...who's dead?" she asked**

"**Chad, my husband"**

"**Oh...I'm sorry...is there anything you need?" she asked. Amanda then latched onto Rachel, sobbing, she awkwardly patted her back.**

"**I can't...Jason can't go to the funeral because he has to watch the kids...I need you there...I can't do it alone"**

"**Don't you have family?"**

"**Jason is the only one I talk too. Chad's parents died a long time ago and all his friends serve with him...the rest of his family never approved of me, they won't even look at me…" She said**

"**I didn't know him…" she said getting a box of kleenexes, "I don't think I-"**

"**Please? For me? I know we don't really know each other but, you were there when I needed you the most. I can't do this alone…"**

"**Can I ask who is watching the children right now?"**

"**Jason...I ran out of the apartment when I got the news…"**

"**Oh…"**

"**Will you please go with me?" Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She's been to so many funerals already. She knew what it was like too, to have one side of the family hate you. Her mother's side of the family did not approve of her father and inturn did not approve of Rachel. Her mother's parents completely ignored her at her mother's funeral and they didn't even bother to go to her fathers. It was just Rachel and Elizabeth at that one. (And the servants).**

"**Okay. I'll go" She said softly**

"**Thank you" Amanda went home after an hour of crying. **

"**Sebastian can I ask you something?" Rachel asked walking into the bedroom where he was straightening everything up.**

"**Yes?" he said walking over to her**

"**My parents…their marriage was arranged, right?"**

"**From birth, yes"**

"**If thats the case...why didn't my mother's parents, if they didn't like my dad, why didn't they just make my mom marry someone else?" She asked.**

"**The thought crossed their mind, but they didn't break the engagement because they didn't want to hurt Lady Elizabeth…"**

"**How do you know they were thinking about it?"**

"**They came and spoke to Ciel about it" Rachel blinked she's never heard Sebastian say her fathers name...like ever.**

"**What'd he say?"**

"**He told them to go ahead and try but Lady Elizabeth was stubborn and wouldn't let that happen"**

"**Oh...Why didn't they like him?" She asked**

"**They thought they were too different"**

"**Then why'd they arrange the marriage?"**

"**Aren't you full of questions today" he said, "Rachel, the marriage was arranged before the fire"**

**A/N: I hope you liked it :) Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

"**I don't understand…" She said softly what did the fire have to do with anything? **

"**He changed, considering what he went through, no one would be the same after that"**

"**Um...What happened?" She asked no one ever told her what exactly happened that day, she knew his parents died there was something else, something no one would talk about and every time she tried to ask her father about it he changed the subject or pretended like he didn't hear her. Sebastian looked a little surprised she didn't know the details. Then again, Lady Elizabeth didn't even know everything.**

"**Hm. I'll tell you" and he did. She didn't think it would be that horrible, but what he told her, what happened to her father. It was worse than anything she ever heard.**

"**Thats depressing as hell" She said softly, "Now I'm sad"**

** "Oh no, don't be sad love. Hm I know what'll make you feel better"**

** "Wha-" in a blur she was on the bed with Sebastian on top of her. **

** "Okay.." she said softly.**

** That night she couldn't sleep, this feeling was bothering her and she was having a really hard time with it.**

** "Rachel, it's late. Try and get some sleep" Sebastian said tugging playfully on one of her curls, "What's wrong?" Rachel shrugged**

** "Just thinking about stuff…"**

** "What kind of stuff?"**

** "Nothing...I don't want to talk about it right now"**

** "Maybe I can help." Sebastian said, "you can tell me" She sighed and sat up, clutching the blanket to her bare chest.**

** "I regret not going to the funeral now."**

** "Why's that?" He asked trailing his finger up her spine, that small touch gave her chills.**

** "I don't know...maybe it was right of me not to go today, I mean...I killed him...his family doesn't need to see me there, right? They don't want to see me there, being the person who killed him."**

** "Right"**

** "You know what's funny?" She asked**

** "What?"**

** "Azzurro was not the first person I killed, but all the other people I murdered, I felt bad about it...I felt remorseful and when I killed Azzurro, I felt relieved. I didn't feel bad at all, I still don't. Does that make me a bad person?"**

** "Not at all. He deserved it, you killed him in self defense and if you hadn't killed him, I would've" Sebastian said, "Lay down Rachel" she did and he pulled her in his arms.**

** "I have a question" Rachel said softly**

** "Yes?"**

** "Since you don't sleep, what do you do all night while I sleep?"**

** "I watch you for a little bit then I might go walk around town some, come back and check on you, watch you for a little while, hold you while I read a book and wait for you to wake up"**

** "Oh...that sounds so boring. No offense" she said softly**

** "None taken. Go to sleep Rachel"**

** "Okay…" She fell asleep warm and safe in his arms.**

** "SEBASTIAN WHAT TIME IS IT!?" Rachel shrieked running out of the bedroom at lightning speed.**

** "Ten..what is the problem?" He asked catching her before she tripped, "Stop freaking out. What's wrong?"**

** "I'm late!" **

** "For what?" He asked slowly obviously thinking she was late for something else other than a funeral.**

"**Not that! Do you really think I'd be asking the time if it was for that? I'd be asking the date! The funeral!" She yelled, "Amandas husbands! You know the guy that died three weeks ago?"**

** "Oh…"**

** "Yeah...I need to get dressed.." Rachel said running back in the bedroom. She threw on a black dress and went to go brush her teeth, but couldn't find her toothbrush and when she turned around to ask Sebastian knew where it was he was standing in the doorway with it in his hand.**

** "Not funny" She said grabbing it. She then shut the door in his face, brushed her teeth, her hair and did everything she needed too then ran out the door still putting her shoes on.**

** "Come on!" She said when the elevator was being an ass and being slow. The elevator finally opened and she stepped inside and then had to wait for a man who was headed towards the elevator and requested that she hold the doors.**

** "So, where are you headed miss?" He asked once inside.**

** "Funeral..you?"**

** "Bachelor party"**

** "Congrats" Rachel said**

** "I'm not getting married…"**

** "Oh. A party this early in the morning?"**

** "Yeah...It's weird. I don't even really want to go...but it's my brother so.."**

** "Hm."**

** "You look nice." he said**

** "Thank you...you too"**

** "What's your name?"**

** "Rachel"**

** "Pretty, mine is Cole. Listen I know we just met and all but you are really the prettiest woman I have ever seen and I just thought maybe you'd like to grab lunch sometime" Cole said blushing a little. He was cute, brown hair and sparkling blue eyes.**

** "Uh..I actually seeing someone..sorry.." The rest of the elevator ride was extremely awkward and Rachel was pretty happy when it finally beeped and she could get off.**

** "Sorry I'm so late" Rachel whispered sitting in the chair next to Amanda. She was right, his family was on one side and hardly looked at Amanda the entire service. Rachel had never been to a military funeral service before and found it quite interesting. Like how they folded the flag into a triangle and gave it too Amanda. That was nice. The whole service took three hours and the whole time Amanda was clutching Rachel's hand like she was poisoned and Rachel's hand was the antidote. Afterwards Rachel went over to Amanda's and sat with her.**

** "The service was nice…" Rachel said softly**

** "Yeah…" Amanda said pouring another glass of wine,"Have you ever been to a funeral like that?"**

** "Not a military one, no. I've had my fair share of funerals though."**

** "Oh...how many have you been too?" Rachel stiffened, not because she was offended by the question, but because she had to go through in her mind and count.**

** "There were so many...um...my parents funerals, my grandparents, a few of my friends...I lost count" **

** "Oh you poor thing...how did they die? If you don't mind my asking…" She added the last part quickly. Rachel shrugged.**

** "I don't mind. My dad died of...I don't actually know how he died. My mother killed herself about two weeks after that. My bestfriend Abigail died on Tita- in a boat accident...and I don't really remember the rest." She said softly, "It all happened a long time ago"**

** "I'm so sorry...and um...I think I heard you wrong but did you almost say Titanic?"**

** "What? Oh no thats the wine it's making you hear things."**

** "Okay...you sure you don't want any?"**

** "No, I better not…" Rachel said**

** "Oh come on, a little wine won't hurt"**

** "No, I can't" Amanda gasped and set her wine glass down**

** "Oh my god you're pregnant!"**

** "What!? No!"**

** "Yes you totally are!"**

** "No I-I mean I might be…"**

** "What do you mean might be!? Take a test!" Amanda said, "Oh yay!"**

** "I can't just go buy one. Sebastian will find out…"**

** "I'll get it for you"**

** "No, you don't have too"**

** "No, but I will. I'll have it to you by tomorrow. Just do me a favor" she said**

** "What?"**

** "Don't make me wait too long for the results"**

** Amanda stayed true to her word and had the test to Rachel the next day. She bought four digital pregnancy tests and Rachel paid her back. Sebastian wasn't home right now so Rachel had a great chance to drink a ton of water and take the tests at the same time. He came home around the same time she was doing it though.**

** "Rachel are you okay?" He asked through the bathroom door. She was sitting on the floor waiting for the ten minutes to be up.**

** "Yeah I'll be out in a minute." she said. The ten minutes passed and it was time to look at the results. She grabbed the four tests and laid them on the floor, one by one she flipped them over, all of them saying the same thing…**

**A/N: Okay...I don't know what they say, som this is where I'll let you guys decide. Positive or negative? Or both? O.o**


	13. Chapter 13

** Rachel threw the tests away and walked out of the bathroom. Sebastian was in the kitchen and hadn't even turned around when he spoke to her, "Are you alright?" He asked, "You were in there for a while."**

** "Yeah...I'm okay…" she said softly watching him put the clean dishes away.**

** "You don't sound like it " he finished putting the dishes away and turned around, "What's wrong?"**

** "Nothing" She said. Why was she shaking? Oh wait because she's terrified of what he might say. He must've noticed her trembling because he walked over and pulled her close.**

** "What's the matter, love?" he asked, she didn't say anything she just wanted to stay like this a little longer before she did tell him. **

** "Rachel?"**

** "Promise not to let go of me?"**

** "Yes…"**

** "I'm pregnant…" she said softly, despite the fact he promised he wouldn't let go of her, his grip loosened and he did. Sebastian took a step back.**

** "I knew it I knew you'd withdraw from me like I had some contagious disease"she said softly, "I know you don't like kids…you despise them but please don't make me kill it" Sebastian sighed and kissed her forehead before walking away. Rachel didn't follow him she decided just leave him alone for awhile. **

** "Why isn't Sebastian going with you?" Amanda asked rocking Ely in the rocking chair gently trying to coax him to sleep. **

** "He's busy…" Rachel said softly truth of it was she didn't ask him to go or even mention it because he wouldn't want to anyways, "I don't want to go alone which is why I asked you too. If you're not busy that it"**

** "No, I shouldn't be busy that day" Amanda said, "Should I Ely?" She cooed **

** "So, will you come with me?"**

** "Yeah I'll go with y-"**

** "Aunt Manda!" Claire yelled running into the nursery**

** "Yes Claire Bear?"**

** "I can't find daddy...I need some help"**

** "They're playing hide and seek" Amanda said to Rachel, "Jasons a pro" she's never played it with Finny, that man found some of the weirdest hiding spots.**

** "I see" Rachel said.**

** "I'll help you Claire after I get Ely to sleep"**

** "You can go now, I'll get him to sleep" Rachel offered**

** "Are you sure?"**

** "Yeah, I'm good with kids" She said gently taking him from Amanda's arms. She smiled and got up**

** "Okay, let's go find Jason, Claire" Rachel sighed and sat in the rocking chair and started to gently rock back and forth. Her mother used to sing to her when she did this, from what she told Rachel, it worked everytime. Rachel didn't sing though, despite the fact that she did so beautifully, she just didn't want too. So, she continued to gently rock the tiny baby back and forth as she looked around the nursery, freshly painted blue walls with big block letters painted in black above the crib, "Ely" there was a little teddy bear in the crib wearing a military uniform with a little name tag that said "Chad" Thats cute, Rachel thought. Rachel looked back down at Ely to see he was fast asleep, Rachel smiled and placed him gently in the crib.**

** "Well that didn't take long" Jason said from the doorway**

** "Nope"**

** "No need to worry, you'll make a great mom"**

** "Thanks...You know, they're looking for you, right?"**

** "Yep. SHIT!" He ran away, Rachel laughed.**

** The next day Amanda went with Rachel to the hospital for an ultrasound to help determine how far along she was and to make sure she was pregnant.**

** "Okay, good morning. I'm Doctor Durless" A woman said walking into the exam room. She looked vaguely familiar, her red hair was up, glasses, red lipstick, and a red dress on under her white labcoat. She obviously like red.**

** "You can just call me Angelina if you like" she said looking through her charts, "Oh thats funny! Your middle name is Angelina" She said smiling, she set the charts down and pulled over a big machine thing. That was the ultrasound, Rachel had never seen one before.**

** "Oh Rachel, you looked frightened. This is the first time you two have done this?" **

** "We're not together…" Amanda said quickly, "I'm just here for moral support"**

** "It's my first time though" Rachel said.**

** "Theres nothing to worry about, I do need you to lift your shirt though" Angelina said. Rachel did and she put this gel stuff on her abdomen**

** "Sorry it's a little cold" Angelina said, "Have you had problems with pregnancy before?"**

** "I've had a few miscarriages…" The doctor was rubbing the camera thing on Rachel's stomach staring at the computer screen with an expression Rachel couldn't read.**

** "Is something wrong?" Rachel asked, Amanda took her hand**

** "No, everything looks fine" she said turning the screen to face them, "It looks like you're about nine weeks, since there is a heartbeat already. Though not far enough along to determine the sex"**

** "Where is it?" Rachel asked softly, "I don't see it…" Angelina pointed at a medium sized blob on the screen.**

** "Right there, there's your baby. The little thing thats flashing, kind of like a strobe light is the heartbeat" She said Rachel smiled**

** "Why is it so fast?"**

** "It's normal, if it was slow then we'd have to worry. But everything looks fine, I do want to set up an appointment for two weeks from now just to make sure"**

** Rachel woke up the next morning without Sebastian, where did he go? It felt like she never saw him anymore. Rachel sighed and picked up a shirt from the floor. It was Sebastians, it smelled nice. She put it on but only buttoned it up to her bellybutton, she didn't really care if her bra was showing. She walked out to the kitchen and looked in the fridge, only to see it was empty.**

** "Thats cool Sebastian" She muttered.**

** "Hey Rachel" Jason said walking into the kitchen. She screamed**

** "Oh my god what are you doing here!?" She shrieked dropping the pitcher of cold water she grabbed out of the otherwise empty fridge. It spilled all over the floor.**

** "Sebastian asked me to watch you while he went to the store…"**

** "I don't need a babysitter I'm twenty two years old!"**

** "yeah well you were running a fever this morning so.." **

** "Well I feel fine so, bye" she said then she remembered her shirt was open and she blushed and decided she should probably go change, but as she went to go change she slipped and fell in the puddle of spilt water.**

** "Oh jeez are you okay?" Jason reached his hand out to help her up but when she grabbed his hand he fell too, right on top of her. That was when Sebastian decided to walk in, from his point of view it looked like something completely different from what actually happened. Jason was on top of Rachel's legs, her shirt was open, and her hands were on his chest like she was trying to push him off. There was a blur and Jason was literally thrown off of her and Sebastian had Jason against the wall by the throat.**

**A/N: Yup...that just happened...**


	14. Chapter 14

**Rachel jumped up, quickly buttoning her shirt up, she ran over. He was angry, that much was obvious, but he didn't have to be it really wasn't what it looked like.**

"**Sebastian let him go" Rachel said grabbing his arm like she could pry it off of Jason's throat. Yeah that isn't going to work out.**

"**Sebastian please….Let him go it's not what it looked like!" She was almost screaming now, "You're killing him!" Sebastian released him and stepped back as Jason collapsed on the floor coughing violently. **

"**God damn...that was close" He choked, "Jesus.."**

"**Rachel, go change" Sebastian said, he was still mad. Rachel grabbed his arm and pulled him with her leaving Jason alone to catch his breath. She couldn't leave Sebastian alone with him, he'd probably kill him.**

"**It's not what you thought it was, I fell and he slipped helping me up." Rachel said softly, "You haven't been talking to me lately…Are you angry with me? For getting pregnant because that would be ridiculous I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't go out of my way to make it h-" she was cut off by his hand over her mouth.**

"**Rachel, shut up" he said he withdrew his hand, "Why would I be angry with you over something we have no control over?" **

"**So, you're not mad at me?"**

"**Not at all" **

**Long weeks passed and Rachel was now twenty four weeks pregnant, the farthest she's ever been and was pretty surprised it hasn't died yet. Her babies usually die early in the pregnancy. Rachel decided she didn't want to know the sex of the baby, didn't really care, plus she liked not knowing until it was born. It made everything more exciting.**

** She poked the small bump in her belly that was slowly expanding and sighed, she was tired of waiting already. "I have to go watch Amandas kid and niece today because she's going house shopping with Jason. So, yeah" Rachel said.**

** "Alright" Sebastian said watching her in the bathroom doorway, "If you keep poking that you're going to poke a hole through your stomach" **

** "I doubt that, I just can't stop. Wanna feel?"**

** "No"**

** "Oh Come on! Please?"**

** "Nope" He walked away. Rachel sighed again and grabbed her shirt, she threw it on and went to Amanda's.**

** "Thanks watching them" Amanda said **

** "No problem" Rachel said watching Ely play with his toy dinosaurs. He's adorable. Jason and Amanda left and Rachel was left alone with the children.**

** "Hey Ray" Claire said, "I'm hungry"**

** "Hm...well I'm not a very good cook so, how about a pizza?"**

** "Pepperoni?"**

** "Girl, I love you." Rachel said grabbing the phone and dialing. She placed an order and then sat with ELy on her lap and watched Spongebob with Claire.**

"**This is a weird show" She said**

"**He's a sponge that lives in the ocean" Claire said, "He's funny"**

"**Yes, yes he is" There was a knock on the door and Rachel got up to answer it, leaving Ely on the couch with Claire. She opened the door only to then be punched in the face. The person kicked her and she fell on the floor, he kicked her again, grabbed a fistful of her hair and dragged her while kicking the door shut. The children were screaming and crying now, Rachel yelled at them to go in the bathroom, but they didn't move. Rachel got up grabbing Claires arm and shoving her in the bathroom. She didn't have time for Ely though, who was now hiding under the coffee table sobbing. Rachel shrieked when she was grabbed from behind, the man pinning her arms to her side as he threw her into a glass stand.**

"**Don't worry pretty, I'm not here for the kiddies, I'm just here for you" He said kicking her down on the floor when she tried to get up. She recognized that voice, the man in the elevator she met the day of Amandas husbands funeral. Oh great. He flipped her on her back and got on top of her, ripping open her shirt and covering her mouth with his hand. She bit it until blood flooded her mouth, he pulled his hand back and slapped her.**

**He sat on her legs so she couldn't kick and used his belt to tie her wrists together while she hit him, trying to fight him off. She screamed and he punched her. Ely was screaming and so was Claire, that must've been what made him so frustrated. He got off of her, running a hand over his face which was streaked with sweat.**

**Dammit...dammit…" He said, "Shut up!" He yelled at Ely, "Just shut up!" Rachel got the belt off of her wrists and got up, but fell back down do to a large gash in her leg from the glass stand she was thrown into. He turned quickly and muttering to himself he grabbed a vase and slammed it over Rachel's head. She fell flat on the floor, blood seeping from her temple. This has happened too many times, she thought. As she went in and out of consciousness, the man had left. She forgot his name, she really forgot. The children were screaming still, so loud, way too loud and Rachel couldn't move to console them, she was in too much pain. She blacked out again.**

**It was raining, a huge storm had struck at the worst possible moment. Elizabeth whimpered, it hurt so much, where was Ciel? He should be here, why wasn't he here?**

"**My lady please, you have to do this!" Paula pleaded grabbing her hand.**

"**No, I can't...he has to be here" Lizzy sobbed, "I can't…"**

"**Forgive me, Lady, but if you don't push soon the baby will die" The Doctor said a pleading expression on his face, "Please"**

"**He'll die" Paula said, "Please I'll be here with you" Lizzy nodded**

"**Oh thank god. Okay ready? Push" She did, "Good, again" She did it again, gosh this hurt. It felt like her insides were being out. Lizzy screamed**

"**One more big push, you're doing great" SHe did and the air was filled with the cry of a tiny infant. The doctor smiled, "There it is"**

"**Is it a boy?" Lizzy asked softly smiling reaching for her new baby.**

"**It's a girl" He said smiling, " A healthy little girl. Congratulations" Lizzy smiled and held her close.**

"**Hey baby, hello" She said, "You're so beautiful, Rachel"**

"**Rachel?" Paula questioned**

"**Yeah. I like it. It's a nice way to honor Ciels mother, I already talked to him about naming her that. Her name would've been Vincent if she were a boy" Lizzy wanted a boy, but having a girl was just as great. There was a sudden sharp pain that erupted in Lizzies stomach, she screamed.**

"**MY LADY!?" Paula shrieked, "What's happening!?"**

**Rachel opened her eyes and once again she was in the hospital a place she knew better than her own home. She was here way too much. She went to sit up but there was a sharp pain in her stomach, Rachel's hand shot to it only to find it was flat.**

"**Oh no...no.." She said tearing up, "No.."**

"**Rachel, it's okay you're in the hospital" Sebastian said walking over, "Lay back down, you shouldn't be sitting up" he said making her lay back down.**

"**Is it dead? Why's my stomach flat? Where's my baby!?"**

"**Rachel, rest"**

"**Answer me! Where's my baby!?" He kissed her forehead and left the room without answering her question, "Sebastian!"**

** A/N: Reviews please :) Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed.**


	15. Chapter 15

"**You know what? I liked the blue house, it had a big yard" Amanda said**

** "But the yellow one had a bar in the basement! Come on"**

** "We'll see. I hope Rachels okay with the kids" **

** "I'm sure she's fine. That girls got mommy written all over her" Jason said smiling as they approached the door of their apartment. Rachel really was great with kids, it was weird how good she was with them.**

** "Jason...is that blood!?" Amanda asked grabbing his arm after pulling her hand from the doorknob when she felt something warm and sticky cover her hand. Then they heard it, an infant crying loudly.**

** "Thats Ely!" She shrieked recognizing her little boys screams. She threw open the door to see Ely under the coffee table, crying and screaming. Amanda didn't notice all the glass and blood, the mess her apartment was in, she just ran to Ely but tripped over something, falling in a pool of warm blood.**

** "Claire!" Jason shouted the little girl ran out of the bathroom screaming**

** "Daddy!" She sobbed burying her face in his chest. Amanda didn't realize whose blood she was lying in until she reached out to get up and found someones hand.**

** "Oh no…" She said softly, it was Rachel, she tripped over Rachel.**

** "Oh my god" Jason said running a hand through his hair, he pried Claire off of him and knelt next to Rachel. She was bleeding from her head, but a majority of the blood was coming from between her legs, it's obvious she had been lying here for a long time. Her shirt was torn open, her jeans were unbuttoned, and she had long scratches across her chest.**

** "Rachel?" Jason questioned she was breathing, barely breathing, "Call an ambulance"**

** "No one will tell me anything!" Rachel shouted, "WHERE IS MY BABY!?" She shrieked sitting up, something she shouldn't have done because she instantaneously tore open her stitches and it hurt really bad. Sebastian walked over**

** "You're hurting yourself" He said simply, "Lay down and I'll go find someone to fix the gaping hole you just made in your abdomen" **

** "No!" She grabbed his arm, "Please tell me...is it dead?"**

** "I'd tell you if I knew but I don't know anything"**

** "You didn't even ask did you?"**

** "Rachel to be honest you were my first priority when I arrived. Although I did try to find out but one is telling me anything either, lay down and don't move I'll be right back" he left the room. She laid back down and sighed. Someone came in**

** "I see someone decided to tear up the stitches I spent so long on" Dr. Durless said smiling as she walked over. She started fixing Rachels wound**

** "After this we'll start on your rape kit, okay?" she said softly, "That shouldn't take long."**

** "I don't need one, I wasn't raped"**

** "Thats not what we were told"**

** "I wasn't raped" Rachel said again, "I promise. No rape kit"**

** "Okay...if thats what you want."**

** "You're my O.B. What happened to my baby?"**

** "Rachel." she said sadly, "I'm sorry b-"**

** "Don't say it…" Rachel said softly, "Don't tell me it's dead" **

** "You have a very sick baby"**

** "IT'S ALIVE!?"**

** "She's alive" Angelina said giving her a tiny smile, "But I'm afraid she won't be much longer, usually babies born this early into the pregnancy do survive b-"**

** "Then why won't mine?" **

** "She's having heart problems, like I said she's sick, she can barely breathe on her own because of the attack, the blood loss, the distress, even if she did survive passed today she won't survive much longer" **

** "I want to see her." Angelina shook her head**

** "I'm sorry Rachel, I would let you but your injuries are too great. I need to go now, I'll be back sometime tonight to check on you" She walked away. Rachel felt like crying and throwing up at the same time. These things always happened, she could never have something good. Sebastian walked into her room a few hours later, he closed the door and the blinds then walked over to the bed.**

** "What are you doing? Visiting hours are over" she said as he put down the railings on the hospital bed and climbed in next to her.**

** "Ssshh…" He said pulling her close and being careful not to hurt her, "I know this isn't enough but" He held up his phone showed her a picture.**

** "Is that…?"**

** "No Rachel it's a random baby" he said smirking, "Yes it is" She was so tiny she was hooked up to so many tubes and wires she didn't even look like a real baby. She had a on a tiny pink hat, which was cute.**

** "Sebastian"**

** "Yes?" He questioned turning his phone off and putting it down.**

** "You're a demon"**

** "I am well aware"**

** "Doesn't that mean, since the baby is yours, that she is part demon?" Rachel asked**

** "Yes"**

** "Then wh-"**

** "Why is she dying? Because right now she doesn't have enough demon in her to survive and heal quickly. That stuff doesn't come around until puberty so right now the only thing that shows she isn't human is the way her eyes glow if she's upset. Well, would glow, her eyes aren't able to open" he explained.**

** "Can't you do something?"**

** "No"**

** "Are you lying to me so I don't ask you to do something?"**

** "Rachel, no" he said, "I would do something if I could but I can't."**

** "Alright...I want to see her, I want to hold her before she…"**

** "I'll talk to the doctor tomorrow, get some sleep." Sebastian said, "I'll be here when you wake up"**

**A/N: I haven't decided if the baby is actually going to die yet. I'm kind of torn between letting her live and skipping ahead a few years oooorrr just killing her...Decisions decisions thanks for reading**


	16. Chapter 16

**Sebastian didn't lie, he remained in the room with her until morning, she wouldn't know that though considering the circumstances. She started bleeding into her abdomen around midnight, no one noticed until the monitor started making loud noises, like an emergency alarm. Turns out there was a complication with the surgery, when they removed the baby from her body they missed something and she had been bleeding internally since. Now Rachel was in a coma, she was breathing on her own and showed some brain function but the doctors don't know if she'll regain consciousness anytime soon.**

** "Hey…" Amanda said softly walking into the room, "I brought flowers. I don't know what kind is her favorite or if she even likes flowers...but I wanted to do something nice" She set the vase down a vase of lilies. Rachel didn't care much for lilies, but she did love flowers. She spent more time by herself in the garden than inside her mansion. Maybe that was why her and Finny were so close.**

** "She'll love them. She likes flowers, finds comfort in them. I think it's weird" Sebastian said, "Her favorites are roses, doesn't matter the color and she hates it when people take the thorns off the stem. She never did tell me why though"**

** "Roses are nice. Hows the baby?"**

** "I don't know."**

** "You mean you haven't gone to see her?"**

** "Once, only because Rachel wanted to see her. So, I took a picture and showed her." He said, "I promised Rachel I'd be here when she woke up and I will be"**

** "Oh...do you want anything? Coffee maybe?"**

** "No, thank you"**

** "Alright...Can I ask you a favor?"**

** "Yes?"**

** "It's just...my apartment is kind of a crime scene and...I don't think Jason or the children want to spend the night in the van again...we can't go home until everythings processed. I was just...I wouldn't want to impose."**

** "The kids can take the guest bedroom, Jason can take the couch unless he wants to bunk with you, and you can take Rachels room. Here's the keys, enjoy. There's plenty of food in the fridge, blankets and pillows are in the closet by the bathroom." Sebastian tossed the keys to his apartment at her. She blinked**

** "Thank you...so much" Amanda said softly.**

** Amanda sighed this was really nice place and she didn't feel like she belonged here. It's been two days now and she's been busting her ass trying to make sure Sebastian and Rachel's apartment didn't look like a tornado came through and destroyed everything.**

** "Claire come on pick up your toys" Amanda said sitting on the couch and sighing she reached for a book that seated on a coffee table. It looked old, the leather covered creaked slightly when she opened it to find yellowing pages and beautiful handwriting inside.**

** "Must be an old diary" She said to herself, she started to read it and soon realized it was Rachel's diary, but the dates were weird, if this were actually her how could she be alive? Maybe it was just a relative. She thought that to be true but when she flipped the page there was a picture inside the crease and there was no denying it, this girl had to be Rachel. Amanda set it down, she couldn't read it, this stuff was personal, she couldn't help but wonder why some of the entries were dated during the very early 1900s. SHe took a peek to see when the last entry was October 3rd, 1918.**

** "Weird as fu-"**

** "Amanda what are you doing? Don't go through their stuff" Jason said cutting her off**

** "I wasn't...it was just sitting there"**

** "I went to see her, Rachel." Sebastian said sitting next to the bed, "The baby, because Amanda said I should and to be honest I'm not sure how long she has. She's still tiny, though she's growing a little, I have to say this she's beautiful." He sighed, "Rachel you have to wake up before she does so you can hold her." **

** Weeks passed and the baby's condition was worsening, her heart was becoming weaker each day and Rachel still showed no signs of waking up.**

** "Her eyes are open now and she can look around, she has your eyes." Sebastian said, "She's still fairly small but atleast she doesn't fit in the palm of your hand anymore and you could actually hold her like a normal baby. Though she's never been held from what I know of."**

** "I don't think she can hear you.." Amanda said softly**

** "Probably not"**

** "You should go home and get some sleep, I'll watch her."**

** "No"**

** "Come on, you haven't slept in weeks. I know this because you're always awake when I get here and when I leave, when do you sleep?"**

** "I don't" he said, "and I'm not leaving"**

**A/N: Stubborn Sebby :) Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed**


	17. Chapter 17

"**My Lady…" Paula said softly coming down the stairs carrying a tray of food.**

** "Yes?" She asked turning around**

** "Lady Elizabeth...I took her dinner up to her room and she wouldn't eat it." Rachel sighed and took the tray from Paula as she walked up the stairs. She knocked gently on her mother's bedroom door, when she didn't get a reply she just walked in. Rachel stepped over glass and set the tray on her mother's bed when she saw she wasn't in it.**

** "Okay mom. You cannot be taking a bath, you already took one today" She said when she heard the bathwater running, "Hello?" She said knocking on the door, "Mom I know you're in there Come on open the your dinners probably ice by now" Rachel twisted the doorknob but it was locked.**

"**Seriously mom, please you know if I locked you out you'd be pretty angry" Rachel sighed and then she noticed something, water was spreading around her feet coming the from under the door.**

"**Mom?" Rachel said softly knocking on the door, "Hey...mom please" She didn't get an answer, "Mommy!" She screamed as she started beating on the door, "Mom open the door! Help! Someone get this damn door open!" Rachel shrieked. She backed up a few feet and slammed her body into the door, surprisingly it opened. Rachel screamed, loud enough to taste blood in the back of her throat. Her mother was lying in the bathtub and had slit both her wrists. She was dead there was no helping her. **

"**My lady are you alright!?" Finny asked running in the room with Bard behind him.**

"**Still not awake yet?" Amanda asked sitting in a chair on the other side of the hospital bed, she sipped her coffee.**

"**Nope" Sebastian said watching as she made a face and threw her full coffee cup away.**

"**Hm...She'll wake up today, I know it" **

"**Are you psychic now?" He asked **

"**Yep"**

"**Must be nice"**

"**I'm sorry….for what happened by the way I couldn't imagine l-"**

"**I'm not the one you should be saying this to." Sebastian said softly watching as Rachel's chest rose and fell with each breath she took.**

**Rachel sighed, it was dark and she needed to get back to the mansion before something happened, something always happened. Rachel clutched her coat tightly to her body when a sudden breeze hit her. She turned down an alley because it was a small shortcut and she could get home faster if she went this way. **

**It was a late October night, maybe eleven thirty and everyone had gone to bed, there was literally no one out walking around. Which made London look eerie through the dense fog and misty rain that had begun to fall. Rachel jumped when she heard something from behind her, she turned and saw it was just a cat so she kept walking. While on her venture home she heard a strange sound, like footsteps and every time she'd stop, they'd stop too. Maybe it was just her own footsteps echoing she should learn to be less paranoid. Soon enough when she'd stop the footsteps from behind her didn't, they sped up, into a run and Rachel ran too, until a person grabbed her and threw her up against the wall of a brick building.**

"**My my look what I caught" The man said, "A pretty girl" His breath reeked of liquor and he looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. His hand went up and groped her ass. She shrieked and kicked him, he didn't go down because he was probably to drunk to feel it.**

"**You smell beautiful" He said sniffing her hair, then he threw her on the ground and kicked her a little, "Bet you taste beautiful too" He flipped her on her back and climbed ontop of her, tearing open her dress, with one hand he covered her mouth, muffling her screams, while the other hand violated the area between her legs. Rachel kicked and hit him but nothing was working and when she heard him unzip his pants she started to panic. She bit his hand bit it until blood filled her mouth. He still didn't pull his hand away and when he got annoyed with her struggling against him he got off of her and stumbled towards one of the dumpsters and grabbed a broken beer bottle. Rachel was trying to get to her feet but it hurt too much so she was crawling. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her back before slamming the beer bottle over her head. She passed out and woke up several times during the attack. One minute he was ripping her bra off, taking her breast in his mouth, the next his mouth was between her legs and then he was inside her. She couldn't stop him, she could hardly remain conscious. Rachel never imagined her first time would be like this, she wasn't ready to not be a virgin. Sebastian had been trying to get her to let him touch her for months and she wouldn't, she wasn't ready. Everything about this hurt, what would Sebastian think when he found out? Will he hate her? Will he leave because he's too disgusted someone else had her first? It wasn't supposed to be this way...her first time was supposed to be with someone she loved, Sebastian, not this lunatic drunk pervert.**

**She woke up again with an aching in her head, the man was gone and Rachel lay naked in the alley she had just been violated in. Rachel found her undergarments and what was left of her dress, she put them on even though everything hurt. When she walked it took everything she had not to scream because that sensitive place between her legs hurt so bad. Blood was dripping on the ground and down her thighs. When she got home it was so late no one would be up, except Sebastian. She decided on her way home that she wouldn't tell anyone what happened, not even Sebastian who would most likely find out anyways. She went to her room and quickly went in the bathroom, she threw up a few times.**

"**Rachel, where have y-" Sebastian stopped talking as he stared at her, dress ripped open, bloody and bruised, "Rachel...You're hurt"**

"**Don't look at me!" She shrieked slamming the door in his face and locking it. She slid down the door into a sitting sitting position and started to cry.**

"**Rachel, let me in. Tell me what happened" He said through the door**

"**Isn't it obvious!? I was raped you idiot! I'm not letting you in"**

"**I can help you"**

"**Help me what!? Get my virginity back!?" She hissed, "You can't!"**

"**Darling let me in, let me help you. I promise I won't hurt you, Rachel please" She got up and opened the door, letting him step inside. The minute he reached for her she screamed and slapped his hand away.**

"**It's okay Rachel, come here, let me see that nasty head wound" she hesitantly walked over and he gently touched it as began to take glass out.**

"**You probably think I'm disgusting" She said softly**

"**No I don't"**

"**You probably don't want me anymore, I'm gross, used goods" **

"**I assure you Rachel, I want you just as bad as I wanted you before. Now tell me what happened."**

**Sebastian sighed and started to twirl Rachels wedding ring around her finger, she was still wearing it, she said if she didn't her finger felt naked and she didn't like it. **

"**When you wake up I'll let you pick out a better ring" He said, "One that sparkles better than this one" **

"**Se-Sebastian?" Rachel questioned opening her eyes, Amanda was right she woke up today, "Can you get me some water? Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked**

"**Because I love you" He said kissing her hand. She gave him a soft smile **

** "If you love me, you'll get me a cup of refreshing water please" He got up and poured a cup for her, he helped her drink and then went and got a doctor to check her, see if she lost any memory. She was fine.**

** "Hows the baby?" Rachel asked, "Is she okay? Can I hold her yet?" Sebastian shook his head**

** "Rachel, I'm so sorry"**

** "No, don't say it"**

** "She died last night" **

** "No...No…" Rachel started to cry she grabbed her stupid cup of water and threw it at the wall before falling back on the bed and sobbing. Sebastian climbed in the bed and pulled her in his arms**

** "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He said stroking her hair.**

** "I didn't even get to see her or hold her...I missed her whole life."**

**A/N: THERE WAS A SPECIFIC REASON I DID THIS SO DON'T HATE ME PLEASE! Review please….thanks for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

"**Rachel is it true!?" Edward asked walking over to her quickly. She sighed, not wanting to talk to him. He was always so demanding of her. He grabbed her shoulders tightly making her yelp, she hated being touched.**

** "Are you pregnant?" He asked softly. Rachel tensed, how did he know? She nodded.**

** "Whose baby is it?"**

** "I don't kn-" Edward slapped her hard.**

** "Really? Do you have any idea what this will do to your reputation? Going out and having sex with strangers!" He was angry, but he didn't know, how could he? Only person who knew was Sebastian.**

** "I didn't want too" Rachel said softly**

** "What?"**

** "I was raped...now let me go…" Edwards once angry expression turned to stone and she couldn't tell what he was thinking, "What? Don't have anything to say? Don't worry about your reputation by the way…"**

** "Mine?"**

** "Your niece get pregnant some stranger. That can't be good for you. Don't worry about it...pretty soon the baby will be gone" She removed his hands from her shoulders and went to walk away.**

** "Rachel, you can't just kill it!" He yelled.**

** "What do you want me to do!? I'm a whore if I keep it, I'm a murderer if I don't! Leave me alone"**

** "Rachel, we can figure this out"**

** "You walk into my mansion, slap me, and proceed to tell me I can't kill this thing inside of me. Get out"**

** "It is a child Rachel! I will not stand here and let you do this" Edward snapped**

** "You don't have the right tell me what to do, you're not my father. You don't own me, I am your property. Once you have a man throw you down force himself inside of you, have a parasite growing in your womb that reminds you everyday what happened to you, then you can tell me to keep it. Get out of my mansion or so help me I will throw you out" Rachel ran up to her room and locked the door.**

** Rachel sighed as she curled up on the couch, it's been two weeks since her baby died and she's been home for two days. The nursery was empty and changed back into the other guest bedroom, it was like it never happened. They didn't even talk about it, then again Rachel wasn't really talking anyways. Sebastian was gone, she had no idea where he went; didn't really care to be honest. Someone walked in, Rachel didn't look up, didn't care who it was, if it was a guy with a gun she probably wouldn't have cared either, probably would've died willingly. It was Amanda, carrying a styrofoam tray thing**

** "I brought warm food. Oh and yes you have to eat it, if you don't Sebastian told me to force you...you don't want me to do that."**

** "Not hungry" Rachel said softly watching as she opened the lid.**

** "Yes you are, how can you not eat for days and not be starving? Eat it. Now" **

** "You eat it"**

** "Rachel, please" Amanda said handing the thing of food to her. Rachel didn't take it, she really wasn't hungry.**

** "The police were at my apartment today" Amanda said softly, "They need a statement from you and from what they said you were not cooperating last night."**

"**Why do they need some stupid statement from me?"**

"**Because you were the victim a-"**

"**Do not call me a victim!"She screamed hitting the food out of Amanda's hands, it landed on the carpet, making a mess.**

"**Okay...I-I'm sorry!" Amanda said picking up the tray and then waking into the kitchen to get some napkins.**

"**Where did Sebastian go?" She asked softly**

"**Uuuuhhh...I don't remember…"**

"**Did he send you here to babysit me?"**

"**No…kind of I guess. He just wanted me to make sure you didn't try to hurt yourself or something…"**

"**Suicide watch...smart" Rachel said getting up**

"**Where are going?" **

"**To jump out the window."**

"**WHAT!?"**

"**Relax, I'm going to the bathroom gosh" She said walking away. Rachel sighed and went in the bathroom, she locked the door and then sat in the bathtub. She wanted to be alone, everyone kept hovering. Rachel looked around the bathroom, Sebastian thought ahead and took all the scissors, razors, forks, knives, really anything sharp enough to cut you and hid them. You know, just incase Rachel went all mental and tried to kill herself.**

**anyways. Sebastian was gone, she had no idea where he went; didn't really care to be honest. Someone walked in, Rachel didn't look up, didn't care who it was, if it was a guy with a gun she probably wouldn't have cared either, probably would've died willingly. It was Amanda, caring a styrofoam tray thing**

** "I brought warm food. Oh and yes you have to eat it, if you don't Sebastian told me to force you...you don't want me to do that."**

** "Not hungry" Rachel said softly watching as she opened the lid.**

** "Yes you are, how can you not eat for days and not be starving? Eat it. Now" **

** "You eat it"**

** "Rachel, please" Amanda said handing the thing of food to her. Rachel didn't take it, she really wasn't hungry.**

** "The police were at my apartment today" Amanda said softly, "They need a statement from you and from what they said you were not cooperating last night."**

"**Why do they need some stupid statement from me?"**

"**Because you were the victim a-"**

"**Do not call me a victim!"She screamed hitting the food out of Amanda's hands, it landed on the carpet, making a mess.**

"**Okay...I-I'm sorry!" Amanda said picking up the tray and then waking into the kitchen to get some napkins.**

"**Where did Sebastian go?" She asked softly**

"**Uuuuhhh...I don't remember…"**

"**Did he send you here to babysit me?"**

"**No…kind of I guess. He just wanted me to make sure you didn't try to hurt yourself or something…"**

"**Suicide watch...smart" Rachel said getting up**

"**Where are going?" **

"**To jump out the window."**

"**WHAT!?"**

"**Relax, I'm going to the bathroom gosh" She said walking away. Rachel sighed and went in the bathroom, she locked the door and then sat in the bathtub. She wanted to be alone, everyone kept hovering. Rachel looked around the bathroom, Sebastian thought ahead and took all the scissors, razors, forks, knives, really anything sharp enough to cut you and hid them. You know, just incase Rachel went all mental and tried to kill herself.**

"**Rachel, are you okay?" She didn't answer Amanda, she asked again, still didn't answer. Amanda started to freak out and thats when Sebastian walked in.**

"**What is it?" He asked**

"**She locked the door and she won't answer me"**

"**Hm. Well, here's what you do" Sebastian broke the lock and the door swung open. Rachel looked up, tears streaming down her face. "Why can't you people see I want to be alone?" She asked softly, "leave me alone" Sebastian sighed and kicked the door shut, leaving Amanda outside alone.**

"**Thats not going to happen." He said, "Did you eat something?"**

"**Yes"**

"**You're lying. Get up" Rachel didn't and when he stepped towards her, she flinched which made him stop walking.**

"**You need to eat something, Rachel"**

"**I'm not hungry"**

**Rachel ended up eating a biscuit, she only at half of it but it was the most she'd eaten in days. Now she was curled up on the couch again watching tv with her legs laying acrossed Sebastians lap.**

"**Whens the last time you shaved these?" He asked.**

"**Go get me a razor and I'll do it, until then don't complain about my gross legs." She snapped**

"**I wasn't complaining. I was just wondering"**

"**Don't wonder" Rachel said softly. Amanda ran a hand through her hair**

"**Don't you have a kid to go home to?" Rachel asked**

"**Yeah...Jason is watching him…"**

"**Don't you think maybe your kid wants his mom?"**

"**Rachel...stop" Sebastian said. After a few minutes of silence, Rachel fell asleep.**

"**She's sleeping" Amanda said softly**

"**Yes she is"**

"**Is she always this cold when she's sad?"**

"**Not always, just depends on what happened, should've seen her after she was raped. Then she was mean, cold, took so long for her to be okay again."**

"**She was raped?"**

"**Twice, but don't ask her about it" Sebastian said, gently picking Rachel up and carrying her to the bedroom. When he went to leave she grabbed his arm**

** "Stay" she said softly, "I'm sorry for snapping at you"**

** "It's alright, I'll be right back" she fell asleep again as soon as he turned off the light and closed the door. He still came back though. **

** The next few weeks she was starting to feel okay again, though she still cried sometimes. She ate more now and she didn't always feel nauseas, Sebastian still had all the razors and pointy things hidden. Rachel screamed when Sebastian walked into the bathroom just as she was about to remove her robe.**

** "Knock next time" she said, "Another second and I would have been naked"**

** "I'll remember to wait an extra second next time" He said smirking, "I have a present for you"**

** "What is it?" he held up a razor, "YAAAAYYY!" She shrieked she went to take it but he pulled it away. "Only if I supervise" he said**

** "Really? Come on...I'm not going to hurt myself. Promise"**

** "Okay fine." He handed it to her.**

** "You know I forgot how nice it was to have smooth legs" Rachel said rubbing her now hairless legs, "Azzurro used to make me shave them everyday because he didn't like t-" she stop talking when she saw Sebastian's face. Oh thats right, she promised never to talk about Azzurro.**

** "Sorry…" She said laying down on the bed, "I forgot. Why are you over there? Come over here and...touch my legs? Because that sounded sexy" She said the last part sarcastically. Sebastian lay next to her.**

** "I'm glad you're not extremely depressed anymore" he said, "I'm sorry you never got to m-" she didn't want to talk about the baby, so in a desperate attempt to change the subject, she kissed him. It deepened unexpectedly and she found herself needing him, Rachel wrapped herself around him and for a little while there was no talking.**

**A/N: Sorry that took a little while, I've been doing some stuff. Hope you liked it, I'm on summer vacation now so I should be able to update sooner. Review please :) **


	19. Chapter 19

**The rain was heavy as it poured down on the Manor roof making small pounding noises against the surface. For some reason Rachel always liked the sound, she loved the rain she always had. The sixteen year old tossed and turned as she listened to the rain abuse the roof over her head, the once soothing sound now made her uneasy and uncomfortable. Something was going to happen tonight and she couldn't figure out if it was good or bad, well judging from the uneasiness and queasy feeling in her stomach it was probably bad. Someone walked into her room and closed the door gently, she didn't recognize the footsteps which made her stomach twist and tie itself in a knot as she gripped the gun under her pillow. The person turned on the lamp by her bed and she whirled around pressing the gun to that person's forehead before realizing it was her father. Rachel yelped and stuck her gun back under her pillow quickly.**

"**Sorry…" She said softly, "What are you doing in here?"**

"**To talk to you" he said, "This couldn't wait until morning"**

"**Someone died, I knew it was something bad"**

"**No one died Rachel. Not yet anyways"**

"**What do you mean not yet?"She asked already confused, "What's going on?"**

"**Rachel, I'm not going to be here tomorrow morning which is why I came to talk to you now. No one is dead, not yet, I'm going to be gone for a while and I need you to take care of Lizzy, your mother. Can you do that?"**

"**Where are you going? You're not telling me something, are you dying!?" Rachel asked loudly**

"**Rachel pr-" **

"**Okay fine, yes I promise. For how long? Youre coming back right?" He didn't answer her, just sighed sadly and the sigh answered her question, he wasn't coming back and he knew it. "You're...going to die…." She said softly, "You're leaving to die...does mother know?"**

"**Yes."**

"**And she's not stopping you?"**

"**She's a little tied up at the moment"**

"**...I did not need to hear that, ew"**

"**What? I tied her to the bathroom sink, Rachel. Anyways, I need to go now. Try and get some sleep." He said getting up **

"**Oh like I'll sleep now" she said as he walked towards the door. She suddenly realized when he walked of this room she'd never see him again and when this realization happened she jumped of bed.**

"**Don't go!" She screamed, "Stay...just until I fall asleep. Please you can die later." He stared at her for a little while and then nodded. For the first time in a really long time her father held her until she fell asleep. Just as she was drifting to sleep he said something**

"**Rachel, I love you." She started to cry then and she cried until she fell asleep.**

"**Rachel what is it?" Sebastian asked she went from happy to sad in a second and it concerned him. "Rachel?"**

"**Sorry...I was just remembering something my dad said to me, before you killed him."**

"**Oh." **

"**Did he have any like...final requests?"**

"**What do you mean?" Sebastian asked turning to start on the dishes. Rachel sighed**

"**Did he ask you to do anything after he died?"**

"**Oh. Yes"**

"**What was it?" She asked softly **

"**To make sure you were alright, he asked me to return to the manor after a few months passed and check on you"**

"**Hm."**

"**What is it?"**

"**Oh nothing...you coming back for me was just a contractible obligation. Nice know"**

"**Rachel, I was going to come back regardless if he told me too or not. I needed too" Rachel got up from the kitchen table and walked away. Suddenly Sebastian was in front of her gripping her forearms as he slammed her against the wall, his eyes were glowing, she made him mad.**

"**Don't do this again Rachel, don't blame me for your parents deaths." he said, "He summoned me, he wanted to die Rachel, why can't you see that? He knew what he'd be giving up, he knew I would ask for his soul, he knew all of it; he had a chance to change his mind and he didn't. For that I am sorry, but you can't put all of the blood on my hands. As for your mother, she killed herself that was her decision. I had nothing to do with that, she was weak"**

"**You're...hurting me.." Rachel whispered very softly his eyes stopped glowing and he instantly let go of her, but when she started to tear up he pulled her in his arms gently.**

"**I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, I'm sorry" he said stroking her hair, "Just think if he never made the contract with me, I never would've met you, and he probably would've died...theres some good in it."**

**A/N: That was a short chapter….hope you enjoyed it, thanks for the reviews, thanks for reading :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: In this chapter we're taking a few steps back to the time when Rachel and Edward died. This is the accident and in this chapter it'll go through the funeral, Rachels afterlife, and the servants reactions to Rachels untimely demise. Here we go…**

** "I don't understand, where are we going!?" Rachel asked for the thousandth time as Edward pulled her down the stairs of her mansion and out the door.**

** "Church." He said simply**

** "Nope let me go" Rachel said trying to get out of his grip, unsuccessfully for that matter.**

** "Rachel you need this" Edward shoved her in the backseat of his car and got in the front. Rachel sighed now she regretted cancelling that meeting with what's his face. She couldn't remember the perverts name right now, but he couldn't seem to get his hands off of Paulas ass. Rachel was so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn't even notice they were moving, rather fast, way too fast.**

** "Edward damn, slow down" she said **

** "If I slow down we'll be late" He had turned around in his seat to snap her and wasn't paying attention thats when it happened, the car ahead of them was facing them. Edward had swerved to the wrong side of the street and now the other cars were headed for them. He slammed on the brakes and swerved but it was too late a car hit them on both sides of the car, the front and the back too.**

** Rachel had lied before, she wasn't killed on impact, she stayed alive for several minutes. During the aftermath of the accident chel didn't realize how bad her injuries actually were, until she reached for the handle of the door. Thats when a sharp pain erupted in her abdomen and she cried out, there was a large piece of another car piercing through her body, through and through. Rachel whimpered as she wrapped her arms around it and desperately to pull it out. She shrieked the pain worsened and she couldn't breathe, there were people watching, why weren't they helping? Why were they just standing there!? Couldn't they see she was still alive?**

** "Help! Please! Somebody!" Rachel screamed.**

** "We're late! Hurry up Grell!" Ronald yelled over his shoulder as the flamboyant red reaper followed slowly behind him.**

** "My feet are killing meeee" He whined, "Ronnie wait up…"**

** "I'm not getting in trouble for this, every man for himself. Sorry Grell see ya!" Ronald yelled as he ran off towards the direction of the accident. Whose souls were h harvesting anyways? He never got a chance to look at the list, William just told him to get there and do his job. He stopped for a second to look and almost fell over, Rachel's name was on it…she was either dead or dying. She was his friend, he liked her...a lot. Ronald found himself running as fast as he could, he got there before Grell maybe he could let her live. He didn't care if he got in trouble with big bad Will, she couldn't die.**

** Rachel was beginning to feel tired, really tired, but she willed herself to stay awake. Sebastian would be here any minute now, he'd get her out, her and Edward. Everything would be just fine, you'll see.**

** "Rachel…" Someone said, she knew that voice, it was Ronald, she opened her eyes and smiled**

** "Hey bestest friend ever...here to get me out?" she asked softly**

** "Oh my gosh look at you. Rachel I'm not here to get you out, think of what I am." Rachel coughed and blood filled her mouth, she spit it out in her lap, the pain had become numb now.**

** "I...don't feel any pain….that's bad isn't it?"**

** "Yeah" He started to tear up, realizing now there was absolutely no way to help her. Except maybe turning her into a demon, but the only person who could do that was Sebastian ane wasn't here right now. Rachels beautiful eyes widened at the sudden realization why Ronald was here**

** "You're here….to take me away...I'm dying….I-I need Sebastian…" She said softly as tears began to formed, "Where is he? Where's Sebastian? Where's Sebastian?"**

** "I don't know...I don't know. It's going to be okay"**

** "No..I need him...I need you to find him….please…"**

** "Rachel I need to stay here. I'm so sorry" he whispered he grabbed her bloody, probably broken, hand, "I'm right here"**

** "Are you holding my hand?"**

** "Yeah...did you not want me too?" He said loosening his grip, she tightened hers**

** "Don't. Keep holding it..please"**

** "Okay"**

** "I'm...so tired"**

** "I know" Ronald said, "It's okay, you can go now I'm right here"**

** "First...will you tell Sebastian something for me?"**

** "Yeah sure"**

** "I'm sorry for dying….Tell him I'm sorry for cutting our forever short...and that I l-" her words were cut off using up her last breath. Her hand went limp in Ronalds but her eyes stayed open. Ronald reached over and closed them, then he got up and proceeded to do what he was supposed to. Harvest her soul, he and Grell watched quietly as her cinematic record flew around them. Grell insulted her every time Rachel and Sebastian kissed (among many other things) and was fairly happy when something terrible happened to her which was basically the whole thing. She had a pretty hard life.**

** Paula rushed to the door and opened it only to find two officers standing in the doorway. She straightened **

** "Phantomhive residence?" One of them asked scratching his mustache**

** "Yes, but if you're looking for Lady Rachel she isn't home right now" Paula said stepping aside so they could come in, "But she should be back very soon, would you like some tea while we wait?"**

** "Actually Lady Rachel is who we came to talk to you about. Go gather the other servants and have a seat. You'll need to sit down for this"**

** "Is she in trouble?" Paula asked softly**

** "I think you need to go get the others. Don't worry it'll all be explained soon" he said. Paula did as was asked and they all sat waiting eagerly for news getting worried.**

** "I'm sorry for having to tell you, but Lady Rachel and Lord Edward were in an accident early this morning"**

** "Oh my god are they alright?" Paula asked**

** "No, they were both killed in the accident. I'm sorry. Their bodies are being prepared for burial at the Undertakers Parlor right now" With that the two men left. It was quiet for a long time and then Paula let out a heart wrenching scream. Rachel was like a daughter to her of course she'd be heartbroken. In an instant all the servants started to cry, Sebastian wasn't there, which meant he probably didn't know. Someone had to tell him.**

** Sebastian sighed and checked his watch, it was well past lunch time. There was an accident somewhere and there were a lot of people out trying to see the damage, the bodies, if there were any. It was making everything slower.**

** "Sebastian…" he turned slowly at the sound of Ronalds voice, knowing that vulgar red reaper was somewhere nearby.**

** "Don't worry, Grells not with me" He said**

** "Good, what do you want?"**

** "I need to tell you something and it sucks so…."**

** "Go ahead"**

** "Rachels dead." Ronald said, "The accident everyones going crazy about, Rachel and Edward were going somewhere and…I'm so sorry" he said, "She told me to tell you something"**

** "And what did she say?" Sebastian asked softly his face was expressionless, a stone, unreadable.**

** "She apologized for cutting your guys's forever short, she said sorry for dying and that she loved you. Then she died…"**

** "If this is some sick joke, I'll kill you right here" Sebastian said**

** "It's not.." Ronald then decided to show him Rachels cinematic record. The ultimate truth she was dead.**

** "Well...there it is then, my Rachel is dead. Please excuse me" he said then ran off to the Mansion. The servants told him what happened, he told them he heard and went to his bedroom. He should've been there, he heard the accident he never imagined it was Rachel in that car. Sebastian sighed and saw something, a folded up piece of paper on his bed.**

** "Dear Sebastian,**

** Sorry I'm not here waiting for you as promised, stupid Edward thought it'd be great to take me somewhere. So, I am not waiting for you in your bed, I'm doing God only knows what with Edward, who feels the need to control every move I make. That sounds weird….anyways I feel uneasy about this but I feel uneasy about everything so, I'll be back soon.**

**Love,**

**Rachel"**

** Sebastian crumpled up the note and started to laugh because she wasn't coming back, she never was. He loved only one person his entire existence and it was Rachel and now she was dead, his Rachel was dead.**

** The air felt nice against her skin as she laced her fingers in the soft green grass, the sun was warm and toasty as it shined down on her angel like skin. She was no angel though. Rachel closed her eyes and soaked in the warm sun and soft grass. Suddenly the grass turned to glass, the sun went away and was covered in clouds, it started to rain, but Rachel soon realized the rain was blood, fresh warm blood. She screamed when something came up from the ground went through her back and poked out of her abdomen. What was happening? Where was she? The outside world erupted in flames and blood and death, Rachel remembered then that she was dead and she knew instantly where she was. Hell.**

** The funeral was long, very long, Sebastian watched silently leaning on a nearby tree as they carried her casket out of the church. Edwards funeral was yesterday and there wasn't near as many people there as there were at Rachels, though a lot of the people at Rachels were men she turned down when they proposed marriage and a few very distant friends. Prince Soma and Agni were there along with Lau and his companion Ranmao. She never actually met Lau, once when she was just born, but he never visited. Soma and Agni she stayed in touch with, they talked frequently.**

** Sebastian swore he wouldn't do it, but he couldn't just stand there watching, he walked over quietly and stood beside Bard and Finny.**

** "So nice of you to join us" Bard said softly, "She was your...partner after all"**

** "Ssh" Finny shushed him. They watched as Rachels casket was lowered into the ground and covered in dirt. Long after everyone had gone Sebastian stayed, staring at the fresh pile of dirt on Rachels grave, she was gone. Forever. Her tombstone shined and sparkled in the sunlight. Sebastian sighed and knelt down, he kissed a rose and placed it by her tombstone then got up and turned away, never to return again. **

** For weeks after the funeral people flooded in the cemetery from all around the world, to visit the infamous Guard Dogs grave. For weeks people wrote about, talked about, Rachel and Edwards moments until one day it just all stopped and no one talked about it anymore, no one visited their graves, it was like they never existed, the flowers died and withered away, after years and years of no visitors the grass on each grave got taller and taller, the church decayed and began to fall apart. The cemetery was never visited, no one else was buried there and because the graves were so old no one visited them them anymore, they weren't taken care of. Soon it was forgotten as Rachel was, and it was a sad thing.**

**A/N: Okay so, I really hoped you guys liked this one...even though we all just took a feels trip...reviews please! Thanks for reading!**


End file.
